Vài lời ngày cuối năm



 

          Chỉ còn vài giờ nữa ngày thứ nhất của 365 ngày mới lại đến gõ cửa từng người từng nhà. Mọi người vẫn có thói quen  truyền thống dồn nén xúc cảm vào những ngày giáp Tết nguyên đán điều đó không có gì lạ. Nhưng rõ ràng là chia tay một năm cũ theo dương lịch cũng lắm tâm tư. Này nhé chỉ ngày mai thôi con số 2008 sẽ vĩnh viễn lùi về quá khứ con số 2009 sẽ hiện diện trên quả đất này và song hành ngự trị với chúng ta hơn 300 ngày đến. Người phương Đông vẫn thường chuộng con số 9 vì đó là biểu tượng của sự may mắn!

          Đà Nẵng ngày cuối năm thật ảm đạm. Mưa nặng hạt kèm theo những cơn gió thốc lạnh lẽo tạt về. Ngồi một mình trong căn phòng lắng nghe tiếng mưa lộp độp rơi. Tiếng mưa tựa như tiếng tích tắc đồng hồ và có lẽ đó là âm thanh một dấu hiệu duy nhất cho tâm thức mình biết rằng:  dù trời đất có ảm đạm thế nào chăng nữa thì thời gian vẫn lặng lẽ trôi theo quy luật của nó. Ví như lúc ta đang hân hoan hay sầu muộn lúc ta đang làm quần quật hay phung phí thời gian vào những ý nghĩ việc làm vô tích sự nào đó thì sự lão hoá trong cơ thể vẫn diễn ra như thường nhật.

          Một năm trôi qua với bao sự kiện vui buồn lẫn lộn. Với bản thân mình có lẽ đây là một năm cho nhiều sự nhận biết. Mình đã làm được những việc tưởng chừng như không bao giờ làm nổi mình đã lo những việc chưa bao giờ lo mình đã tạo dựng một không khí công việc tốt hơn trước và cũng là năm gánh chịu những bực bội muộn phiền riêng rất khó giải bày để được chia sẻ. Nhưng thôi. Tất cả rồi sẽ qua mà!

          Có điều này dường như qua tuổi 40 rồi con người mới có dịp tiệm cận cuộc sống theo đúng nghĩa của nó. Mới hay rằng cuộc đời như một bài toán mà bất cứ ai bất cứ lúc nào con người cũng hoặc phải đi tìm hoặc có khi lời giải tự đến. Có khối việc xảy ra ngoài dự lường của chúng ta buộc phải có sự ứng xử. Và chính phép ứng xử đó hình thành nên tư cách số phận và cả nét văn hoá của mỗi con người. Gộp hết những điều đó là gọi là số mệnh cũng được xem là thoả đáng.

          Trước những điều phiền muộn hay không theo ý mình con người luôn tỏ ra buồn tủi sầu não - một trạng thái dường như chiếm đến 2/3 của đa số người đời. Nhưng nếu bình tâm suy xét: nếu tất cả những điều mình nghĩ mình tin mình làm đều đạt xác suất thành công 100% tất cả tương lai phía trước đều được mình định đoạt bởi tất cả sức lực khả năng hay nói cách khác tương lai đều nằm hết trong chỉ tay ta thì liệu cuộc sống có còn thú vị nữa hay không? Có AQ quá không nhỉ?

          Vu vơ vài dòng để tống tiễn năm cũ. Đây chỉ vài dòng lan man nhưng với mình có thể khi nào đó đọc lại năm 2008 sẽ còn hiển hiện như một cuốn phim tua chậm.  Cuộc sống rất cần hồi ức để chúng ta biết đã từng đi qua nó như thế nào.


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